I have spent years studying the underbelly of the fancy Hollywood Club Scene. I've been privately escorted by the owners of the nicest casino clubs to be seated in their private section across from P Diddy and his friends. Their are countless other stories of high society free handouts for the right reasons I was able to pull this all off. The simple reason was I understand inside out the nature of social conventions and could wieve my way into the fanciest of clubs using a series of moves and techniques that serve as a spice for many influential recipies.
Here is a rule of thumb that has made a big impact:
A gracious attitude attracts a high frame of power.
When you walk around being very gracious to everyone around you, it assumes a certain amount of power and respect from everyone around you. Because quite frankly there are two types of givers in the world. Their is the type of giver that is a servent and their is a type of giving that comes from the leader. When you are gracious, you take the roll of giver from a level of excellence to where it's not as if you need to constantly be providing. Merely carring the essance of someone who is complementary and supportive from a place of power creates a huge impact. I'm talking voice tone, pace and body posture really bring you a long way.
Believe me or not, test is out, watch what happens as you see the chages. See article on frame control.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Influence Intelligence’s CLB: Charismatic Language Boosters
By now I know you are asking yourself, why a CLB? That is because in my experience I have noticed that any master of influence has his grab back of tools to make a bigger impact. Perhaps you have known someone who was a master story teller and because of that could command and dazzle the respect of everyone around them. Storytelling is just one of several ways any social master can command a room and entice the attention of others to the point where they become extremely influential. For the rest of these powerful tools, I’ll call them CLB’s, Charismatic Language Boosters, too many to number, to important not to give a cool acronym to.
“…to the point where…”
Is an amazing language tangent. First and foremost it’s very subtle so if influencing others seems like a new concept to you, this is a great drill to warm up your ability to change the type of language that is coming out of your mouth without having to think about it too much once you have it practiced. Secondly, it is so polished as it seamlessly connects two concepts together. It puts emotion behind any idea. People buy, love and take action solely with the influence of their emotion.
What if you read this sentence to the point where you could really get a feel for it?
As you learn how to use language to the point where it becomes easy for you to enjoy more impacting conversations, a part of you becomes more and more clear.
I’ll provide more context on how to use this type of language soon. As for now, you have something to pay with and begin developing a sensory acuity to how people are affected by some slight changes in your language and the ways to use them available.
“…to the point where…”
Is an amazing language tangent. First and foremost it’s very subtle so if influencing others seems like a new concept to you, this is a great drill to warm up your ability to change the type of language that is coming out of your mouth without having to think about it too much once you have it practiced. Secondly, it is so polished as it seamlessly connects two concepts together. It puts emotion behind any idea. People buy, love and take action solely with the influence of their emotion.
What if you read this sentence to the point where you could really get a feel for it?
As you learn how to use language to the point where it becomes easy for you to enjoy more impacting conversations, a part of you becomes more and more clear.
I’ll provide more context on how to use this type of language soon. As for now, you have something to pay with and begin developing a sensory acuity to how people are affected by some slight changes in your language and the ways to use them available.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
The Easiest Step To Influence
State Elicitation Through Asking Questions:
Most people want to be charismatic but come off as trying too hard or after a short period of success lose the interest of the person they are talking to. Even an individual with an entire bag of stories, comments and jokes is left running a marathon of language to keep the charisma of the conversation going. Imagine a world where you could sit back as the person entertains themselves with you doing little or no talking. Then, at the end of the conversation, they take the enticing entertainment, all powerful emotions and give you all the credit. Those kinds of interactions would be a dream, wouldn’t they?
Well, the simple fact is, it’s possible. Not only is it possible, it’s easy once you’ve had someone show you how to do it correctly. It starts by asking the right questions.
By now, I know your thinking, “but wait, I’ve had dozens of those awkward first date style conversations where tons of questions go back and forth and the whole thing is lame.”
It is not what they answer with, it is how they answer. You want them to be engaged in their answer. Even though it could be the most simple reply they are giving you a heartfelt emotionally engaged answer. The process of getting someone ramped up to this heartfelt reply is all contained in my program, “The Economics of Conversation.” For now, I’ll provide you with some of the foundational basic that explain why this works to get to started and on your way to looking at the world differently, to be a more charismatic person.
Whenever you ask a question it causes a person to search through their brain to find the answer. In order to search through the 11 miles of neural circuitry and find the right answer they first have to create the feeling that matches the answer and then the brain brings up all the memories and information that matches that feeling. This whole process is very emotionally engaging for the person. This is why game shows have been so popular for decades. As the audience searches to see if they know the answer it activates several rewarding regions of their brain.
You can use this whole process to your advantage to be a charismatic conversationalist. Ask the kind of questions that cause the listener to bring up powerful, positive emotional memories. This will then release a whole series of positive chemicals in their system to match the memories and new state that they are now in. When your questions allow the person to feel all these positive effects, they are going to quickly grow very affectionate towards you.
So go out, ask some questions and make everyone around you feel amazing.
To contact me, schedule training, or ask more questions send me an email. My email is listed in the about me section.
Most people want to be charismatic but come off as trying too hard or after a short period of success lose the interest of the person they are talking to. Even an individual with an entire bag of stories, comments and jokes is left running a marathon of language to keep the charisma of the conversation going. Imagine a world where you could sit back as the person entertains themselves with you doing little or no talking. Then, at the end of the conversation, they take the enticing entertainment, all powerful emotions and give you all the credit. Those kinds of interactions would be a dream, wouldn’t they?
Well, the simple fact is, it’s possible. Not only is it possible, it’s easy once you’ve had someone show you how to do it correctly. It starts by asking the right questions.
By now, I know your thinking, “but wait, I’ve had dozens of those awkward first date style conversations where tons of questions go back and forth and the whole thing is lame.”
It is not what they answer with, it is how they answer. You want them to be engaged in their answer. Even though it could be the most simple reply they are giving you a heartfelt emotionally engaged answer. The process of getting someone ramped up to this heartfelt reply is all contained in my program, “The Economics of Conversation.” For now, I’ll provide you with some of the foundational basic that explain why this works to get to started and on your way to looking at the world differently, to be a more charismatic person.
Whenever you ask a question it causes a person to search through their brain to find the answer. In order to search through the 11 miles of neural circuitry and find the right answer they first have to create the feeling that matches the answer and then the brain brings up all the memories and information that matches that feeling. This whole process is very emotionally engaging for the person. This is why game shows have been so popular for decades. As the audience searches to see if they know the answer it activates several rewarding regions of their brain.
You can use this whole process to your advantage to be a charismatic conversationalist. Ask the kind of questions that cause the listener to bring up powerful, positive emotional memories. This will then release a whole series of positive chemicals in their system to match the memories and new state that they are now in. When your questions allow the person to feel all these positive effects, they are going to quickly grow very affectionate towards you.
So go out, ask some questions and make everyone around you feel amazing.
To contact me, schedule training, or ask more questions send me an email. My email is listed in the about me section.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Undeniable First Step To Influencing Others
Changing Your Frame:
Most people have been shocked to find how quickly I have risen the ranks of being an influential person who can charismatically command powerful people or even an entire audience at the same time. Although there are many simple tricks that you may put in your tool belt to instantly increase the results you are getting in interactions, I can honestly say that to consciously control all of these tools at the same requires a lifelong commitment to improving the way you interact with the people around you. Every master at the beginning has some combination of the following three things as he is training, REPITITION, A SYSTEM that he is repeating and an INTEREST that keeps him motivated along the way. True influence at its core level requires a command mostly of body language, then voice tonality then the words you say. Many magicians call this the “performance” aspects of their skills.
That being said, there is a way to shortcut a large chuck of your development….
Previously you have read about Frame Control and how that controls a large part of the interaction. Undeniably, before you may control the frame of another person you must be able to control YOUR frame. In other words, you need to be in complete control of the way you influence yourself. An example of this is self talk. When you talk to yourself, do you support your efforts or do you sabotage yourself with negative feedback of your actions. If you doubt yourself, everyone around you will eventually doubt you because your body language and voice tone is designed to reflect the feelings that you have inside. If your feelings while you are around others are negative then others will lead you because of your inability to lead yourself.
Luckily, this also works in the other direction. By this I mean if you have complete confidence in your ability and the joy of leading others, then others will find themselves magnetized towards your leadership, almost automatically. Because so many others give themselves negative feedback, your seemingly effortless engagement in the interaction will give them the sensation of, “I want what you’ve got.”
Here is the secret. This is called a hypnotic contract.
I [YOUR NAME] am in control
I love to lead others confidently
I have always been confidently in control
If and when you repeat this to yourself often it will cause a powerful effect on your subconscious.
I know your saying to yourself, “This sounds too simple. It couldn’t possible have a profound impact on my ability to influence others.” Don’t take my word for it. Say this to yourself before and after every interaction for a week and watch what happens. The most powerful way to impact the subconscious is through repetition. So, the more days you say this in a row the bigger effect it will have. Then, once you have a firm foundation of your ability to control your frame, you will have a firm foundation to build the influence arsenal of techniques that are about to come.
Most people have been shocked to find how quickly I have risen the ranks of being an influential person who can charismatically command powerful people or even an entire audience at the same time. Although there are many simple tricks that you may put in your tool belt to instantly increase the results you are getting in interactions, I can honestly say that to consciously control all of these tools at the same requires a lifelong commitment to improving the way you interact with the people around you. Every master at the beginning has some combination of the following three things as he is training, REPITITION, A SYSTEM that he is repeating and an INTEREST that keeps him motivated along the way. True influence at its core level requires a command mostly of body language, then voice tonality then the words you say. Many magicians call this the “performance” aspects of their skills.
That being said, there is a way to shortcut a large chuck of your development….
Previously you have read about Frame Control and how that controls a large part of the interaction. Undeniably, before you may control the frame of another person you must be able to control YOUR frame. In other words, you need to be in complete control of the way you influence yourself. An example of this is self talk. When you talk to yourself, do you support your efforts or do you sabotage yourself with negative feedback of your actions. If you doubt yourself, everyone around you will eventually doubt you because your body language and voice tone is designed to reflect the feelings that you have inside. If your feelings while you are around others are negative then others will lead you because of your inability to lead yourself.
Luckily, this also works in the other direction. By this I mean if you have complete confidence in your ability and the joy of leading others, then others will find themselves magnetized towards your leadership, almost automatically. Because so many others give themselves negative feedback, your seemingly effortless engagement in the interaction will give them the sensation of, “I want what you’ve got.”
Here is the secret. This is called a hypnotic contract.
I [YOUR NAME] am in control
I love to lead others confidently
I have always been confidently in control
If and when you repeat this to yourself often it will cause a powerful effect on your subconscious.
I know your saying to yourself, “This sounds too simple. It couldn’t possible have a profound impact on my ability to influence others.” Don’t take my word for it. Say this to yourself before and after every interaction for a week and watch what happens. The most powerful way to impact the subconscious is through repetition. So, the more days you say this in a row the bigger effect it will have. Then, once you have a firm foundation of your ability to control your frame, you will have a firm foundation to build the influence arsenal of techniques that are about to come.
One of The Top Ways Your Mind Is Being Controlled and You May Not Even Realize It
The Existence of A Frame In Your Life:
In any conversation there is what’s called a frame. In short, it’s the social conventions that create the reality (or illusion of reality) within the context of that conversation. When two people met they both have a perception of where the conversation is going and what is happening. Ultimately one of the people will win and their frame will prevail over the other person’s reality. A frame is a very important thing to recognize and to have control over because the effects of a frame affect your subconscious and your actions is a very strong way. Here are a couple examples of frame control to bring this concept to life for you so you can begin to see it in your every day interactions.
Example: You living in your frame without anyone else
Imagine that you are driving in your car listening to your favorite music singing along and totally rock out. You always sing in your car, that is your reality. You are in your frame. Doing whatever you want is totally appropriate.
Example: Someone with a much larger frame taking your reality over
You are driving with your boss or a very powerful client in your car. In this case, you are most likely filtering your behavior according to what is considered appropriate to the person with the larger frame. If there is a particular action which is assumed by the person with a larger frame you will do that action without questioning it.
Example: You are driving with a 5 year old sibling/son in the car
You set the frame. The child lives in your reality. If you expect a certain behavior from the child and you have rapport, the child will do that action without questioning it.
As you can see frame control is a very powerful form of mind control. The frame is the reality that is just assumed in an interaction and everyday you go through a series of different frames from the interaction with your loved ones, to business, to the interaction you have with a waiter at your favorite restaurant. Perhaps by now you are wondering, “What happens when the person in control hasn’t be clearly defined?” Then you have, essentially, what is called a frame battle.
Frame Battle: Two people represent a different set of social expectations. One person’s expectation will win out and the other person will become a follower in the interaction as the other person leads.
Example: Suppose there is a relationship of an old married couple where the wife tells the husband what to do, the man replies, “yes, dear” and does what is expected of him. Not that this is a good or bad thing. It is merely the relationship that works best for these two in this relationship. In this case the wife clearly has frame control.
Example: Now imagine a typical relationship in the 1950 where the man runs the house as the wife prepares dinner for him according to his expectations. In this case the husband has clear frame control.
The interesting thing is that in any type of relationship, your frame is constantly tested and if you don’t know how to control it, it will diminish or disappear over time. Leadership is important and because of that at times it is important to be in the frame of someone else. At other times it serves you to hold your frame and make sure that your expectations and assumptions are met by others. Anyone who has had a child or a roommate might recognize that they can constantly test your frame to see if something is acceptable. If you do nothing then their reality and expectations start to become the reality that holds the fabric of the relationship together. In other words, their frame has grown and taken yours over.
Frames aren’t determined by who benefits from an interaction, but rather by who gets their way. For example if you go to the home where a gracious host awaits you, they may go and bring you refreshments without you even asking. The host has done so because they want you to feel comfortable in their home. The host is getting their way and this suggests that you exist in their frame.
Now imagine the same people in the same scenario. You have entered the home and you are feeling a little parched. You then ask the host to bring you a glass of water, to which the host responds by brining you a glass of water. In this case, you are getting your way and this suggests that you hold the frame.
It’s the subtleties of social conventions that determine who is in control of the frame and it is much more common in eastern cultures to be aware of how these social conventions impact the frame and the mind control impacts of these actions.
Looking for this frame more often will allow you to understand how to carry yourself to have people respect you and follow what you say more frequently. Coming soon I’m going to give you a couple techniques to help control your frame and the frame of people around you to create a better world around you.
In any conversation there is what’s called a frame. In short, it’s the social conventions that create the reality (or illusion of reality) within the context of that conversation. When two people met they both have a perception of where the conversation is going and what is happening. Ultimately one of the people will win and their frame will prevail over the other person’s reality. A frame is a very important thing to recognize and to have control over because the effects of a frame affect your subconscious and your actions is a very strong way. Here are a couple examples of frame control to bring this concept to life for you so you can begin to see it in your every day interactions.
Example: You living in your frame without anyone else
Imagine that you are driving in your car listening to your favorite music singing along and totally rock out. You always sing in your car, that is your reality. You are in your frame. Doing whatever you want is totally appropriate.
Example: Someone with a much larger frame taking your reality over
You are driving with your boss or a very powerful client in your car. In this case, you are most likely filtering your behavior according to what is considered appropriate to the person with the larger frame. If there is a particular action which is assumed by the person with a larger frame you will do that action without questioning it.
Example: You are driving with a 5 year old sibling/son in the car
You set the frame. The child lives in your reality. If you expect a certain behavior from the child and you have rapport, the child will do that action without questioning it.
As you can see frame control is a very powerful form of mind control. The frame is the reality that is just assumed in an interaction and everyday you go through a series of different frames from the interaction with your loved ones, to business, to the interaction you have with a waiter at your favorite restaurant. Perhaps by now you are wondering, “What happens when the person in control hasn’t be clearly defined?” Then you have, essentially, what is called a frame battle.
Frame Battle: Two people represent a different set of social expectations. One person’s expectation will win out and the other person will become a follower in the interaction as the other person leads.
Example: Suppose there is a relationship of an old married couple where the wife tells the husband what to do, the man replies, “yes, dear” and does what is expected of him. Not that this is a good or bad thing. It is merely the relationship that works best for these two in this relationship. In this case the wife clearly has frame control.
Example: Now imagine a typical relationship in the 1950 where the man runs the house as the wife prepares dinner for him according to his expectations. In this case the husband has clear frame control.
The interesting thing is that in any type of relationship, your frame is constantly tested and if you don’t know how to control it, it will diminish or disappear over time. Leadership is important and because of that at times it is important to be in the frame of someone else. At other times it serves you to hold your frame and make sure that your expectations and assumptions are met by others. Anyone who has had a child or a roommate might recognize that they can constantly test your frame to see if something is acceptable. If you do nothing then their reality and expectations start to become the reality that holds the fabric of the relationship together. In other words, their frame has grown and taken yours over.
Frames aren’t determined by who benefits from an interaction, but rather by who gets their way. For example if you go to the home where a gracious host awaits you, they may go and bring you refreshments without you even asking. The host has done so because they want you to feel comfortable in their home. The host is getting their way and this suggests that you exist in their frame.
Now imagine the same people in the same scenario. You have entered the home and you are feeling a little parched. You then ask the host to bring you a glass of water, to which the host responds by brining you a glass of water. In this case, you are getting your way and this suggests that you hold the frame.
It’s the subtleties of social conventions that determine who is in control of the frame and it is much more common in eastern cultures to be aware of how these social conventions impact the frame and the mind control impacts of these actions.
Looking for this frame more often will allow you to understand how to carry yourself to have people respect you and follow what you say more frequently. Coming soon I’m going to give you a couple techniques to help control your frame and the frame of people around you to create a better world around you.
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